ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
