So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
