Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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