And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
