I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
