Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
