iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
