He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Boobs speak an international language.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
