Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
