It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
