is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
handjob tips. give me some.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
