Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
