I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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