she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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