my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
