We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
