How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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