I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Mom said you looked used
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
