I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We named our party play list daddy issues
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
