I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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