I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
