I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
did you just send me my own nude
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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