Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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