so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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