Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
