So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
