This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
