is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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