he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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