I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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