you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
