What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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