Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
