turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
