I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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