You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
