go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
