Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
