I am in a vortex of obligation.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
