Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
