:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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