She is in my trunk
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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