I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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