his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize