he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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