I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
