he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
