I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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