super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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