were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
