Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
